Is this seat taken

I’ve signed up for the 31 Plays in 31 Days project, committing myself to daily playwriting throughout the month of August. The project includes a pre-challenge warmup of 256-(alpha-numeric)-character plays. Here’s today’s play:

    • MAN: Is this seat taken?
    • WOMAN 1: (Looks him over, frowns) Yes.
    • (Man leaves)
    • WOMAN 2: No one’s sitting there. Why’d you send him away?
    • W 1: These latecomers need to learn that we who came earlier get to decide.
    (Curtain rises on “Damned Yankees”)

What’ll it be

I’ve signed up for the 31 Plays in 31 Days project, committing myself to daily playwriting throughout the month of August. The project includes a pre-challenge warmup of 256-(alpha-numeric)-character plays. Here’s my play for July 30:

    • BARKEEP: What’ll it be?
    • PATRON 1: Wry. Make it a double.
    • B: (Smirking) “Love makes the world go wrong.” “Jesus saves; Madoff promises triple-digit returns.”
    • PATRON 2: I’ll have a white whine.
    B: (Querulous) “Why do I have to be in the minority?”

Up in smoke

I’ve signed up for the 31 Plays in 31 Days project, committing myself to daily playwriting throughout the month of August. The project includes a pre-challenge warmup of 256-(alpha-numeric)-character plays. Here’s today’s play:

    • CLERK: What can I get you?
    • GUY: Cigarettes. Carton of Marlboros. And a lottery ticket.
    • C: Sure. You must be feeling lucky. The odds certainly aren’t in your favor.
    • G: It’s a 40-million-dollar jackpot. Why not?
    C: I was referring to the smokes.

Gates of hell

I’ve signed up for the 31 Plays in 31 Days project, committing myself to daily playwriting throughout the month of August. The project includes a pre-challenge warmup of 256-(alpha-numeric)-character plays. Here’s the warmup play for July 28:

    • GUY: Hey, are you that philanthropist?
    • BILL: Yes.
    • G: You know, you’ve caused a lot of misery.
    • BILL: Oh?
    • G: Yeah, the stress of using your shitty operating system. There’s a
    private room in hell for you, Mr. Gates. And it’s gonna have windows.

Major major

I’ve signed up for the 31 Plays in 31 Days project, committing myself to daily playwriting throughout the month of August. The project includes a five-day warmup of 256-(alpha-numeric)-character plays. Here’s today’s warmup play:

    • STUDENT: It’s hopeless. I should never have declared double majors.
    • FRIEND: So you have two final papers? Where are you with that?
    • S: Stuck. For weeks now, nothing. I swear it’s like a medical condition.
    • F: Oh, yeah, what?
    S: Impacted theses.

Afterwrath

I’ve signed up for the 31 Plays in 31 Days project, committing myself to daily playwriting throughout the month of August. The project includes a five-day warmup of 256-(alpha-numeric)-character plays. Here’s today’s warmup play:

    • WIFE: Look at this! Just LOOK.
    • COP: We’ll need an inventory.
    • W: Of stuff I might not remember. Great.
    • C: I don’t make the rules.
    • W: And why’d they have to make such a mess?
    • C: Choosy, I guess.
    W: Oh, and THIS necklace wasn’t good enough for them!

256 characters in search of…

I’ve signed up for the 31 Plays in 31 Days project, committing myself to daily playwriting throughout the month of August. The project includes a five-day warmup of daily 256-character plays (needless to say that’s 256 letters, spaces, etc.). Here’s my warmup play for July 25:

    • EVE: Mmm. Try the one with the navel, Adam.
    • ADAM: No thanks.
    • E: Just a lick.
    • A: I said no, Evie.
    • E: Sweet and juicy.
    • A: No!
    • E: What’s with you lately?
    • A: I just don’t want more trouble. It’s bad enough.
    E: But you’re comparing oranges to apples!

A “12-step-commedia dell’arte” kind of relationship…

Literary agent Janet Reid regularly hosts online writing contests. Her latest challenge: Write a story with 100 words or fewer. Use the following words: kill, dell, plot, sheep, codswallop.

She received 84 entries, and decided that mine was one of six finalists. Here’s my effort:

Hazel and I had a “12-step-commedia dell’arte” kind of relationship. Our respective sex addictions repeatedly threatened to kill our marriage, but we always managed to dance away from the yawning cemetery plot of divorce.

Unfortunately, my latest infidelity involved her sister. To keep the scene from getting ugly, I suggested that we reconcile in public, over mutton at a local restaurant.

Hazel ordered for me, animelles, the sheep du jour. But when the codswallop arrived, and she handed me my noix dans un sac, I got the message: ironing out the wrinkles wouldn’t be so easy this time.

 

Picture book challenge

Challenge: Create a 100-word picture book text using the following five words: otter, toast, fan, bouncing, trap. Here’s my effort:

Seldom Visits His Foamily

Seldom messed his firmly, beck in Bouncing, Idaho. So he cooled his debtor on hiss chip cell fan.

“All see you on Fried-dough,” he sat. “Whale have a niece dinar to gather.” But his doter coot barley hair ham.

Seldom toast some clues in a beg. After a lung plane trap, he trove a rundle cow to his farther’s horse. It wed be gut to see his ruler tiffs after so money yours.

But won his madder opined the drawer, she sad, “Aim sap raised! You naval cull. I axe pact add year otter brooder!”