Here’s an excerpt from my soon-to-be released unauthorized catalog of spurious knowledge about the Ouisconsin Territory. (The inspiration, W. T. Purdy’s 1909 “March-Song and Two-Step,” is better known as the University of Wisconsin fight song.)

YAWN, OUISCONSIN

Yawn, Ouisconsin, 
Yawn, Ouisconsin
Plunge onto that couch
Gorge on chips and cheesy dip
To exercise your jaws 
      (you-rah-rah)
Yawn, Ouisconsin, 
Yawn, Ouisconsin
Napping’s not a crime
Catch, fellows, forty winks
Before bed-time