I’ve signed up for the 31 Plays in 31 Days project, committing myself to daily playwriting throughout the month of August. The project includes a five-day warmup of 256-(alpha-numeric)-character plays. Here’s today’s warmup play:

• STUDENT: It’s hopeless. I should never have declared double majors.

• FRIEND: So you have two final papers? Where are you with that?

• S: Stuck. For weeks now, nothing. I swear it’s like a medical condition.

• F: Oh, yeah, what?

S: Impacted theses.